Oh, that delicious comfort zone. Like an easy chair or resting in a loved one’s arms, I nestled in and expected the world to leave me there, and expect nothing more from me. On some level, we think we’re happy there. Then, for whatever reason, we get angry, we suffer hurt feelings, we feel guilty, we feel unworthy.
So we strike out to find some source of happiness, trying to hold onto that safe space inside the comfort zone, but over time, it doesn’t work anymore. Why not?
Maybe it’s because I didn’t build that comfort zone. It was built over years of people telling me how I was supposed to live, what was supposed to make me happy, what my worth was, not as a bright, soaring human being, but as just another source of income for others, as another consumer who was in reality being consumed. I was repeating old decisions, old habits, old thought patterns. I was holding on and not letting go of those things that don’t serve me, my purpose, or humanity anymore.
I had actually built myself my own constricted trap. I believed that as long as I stayed in that comfort zone, I would be happy and fulfilled. In fact, I was locking myself into a cage where fear kept me inside, where I thought I could avoid anger, hurt feelings and guilt, but by keeping myself in this series of repeated choices, I was missing out on the true miracle of life I had been granted.
Then, Soul began to softly whisper, and the whisper got louder, wanting more from life, wanting more happiness, knowing my dreams should be coming true, wanting to be more deeply connected, knowing I should have a life really worth living while I still have one to live.
How do we expand that comfort zone to allow more of life into our existence? To include happiness and fulfillment of our purpose for being here?
Let go! Sing the song from Frozen. Listen to Obi-Wan whispering in Luke Skywalker’s ear, “Let go, Luke. Use the Force.” Use the religious texts, “Let go and let God.” The point here is we hold onto our own pain and continued patterns instead of letting in the miracles of life, the gifts of God, the choices that make our life worth living.
As Mark and Davene have shared in our Master Key Experience class (#master key experience), there are 2 reasons why we aren’t where we want to be in life, either because we refuse to let go of what we don’t need, or we refuse to accept what we do need.
So how do we expand that comfort zone? Let go of the walls we place around ourselves … anger, hurt feelings, unworthiness, guilt. Those are all choices on how we feel about something. And fear … it can be our friend, alerting us to dangers that can keep us alive. I had placed it as my imaginary ceiling in this tight “comfort” zone. So let it be our friend and let go of allowing it to have a crippling grip on us. When we feel its presence, let it go as a master, don’t let it enslave us, let it show us how we can take a bigger step.
Afraid to call this potential client – hmmmm, here’s an area where I can increase my comfort zone, expand my world, I’ll just do it. Afraid to go to this meeting, I may have to open myself up to other people … more room to expand my comfort zone. Push past the fear of traveling outside the country, of starting up a charity, of resolving a relationship, of finishing your book, of giving a speech, of being loved.
Next time those crazy feelings come around, pay attention, and see what life is trying to tell you. Then let the negative go so you and your comfort zone too can grow!